A mission of torture
by A Raven Called Elliot
Summary: 1 girl, 1 mission going around and pure utter madness. flames accepted u are intitled to your own opinion. this is my first so bare with me please. Arrigato! THIS IS A CRACK FIC!
1. Chapter 1

KAHS: A Hiyas mah name is well take a look-see to the far left; this is my first Fan Fiction so bare with me. I'm going to torture the Naruto Char.

Disclaimer: I don't own I don't even own my sanity

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Chapter 1: Shino

Today Shino had a mission with no conditions but it was D-rank so he let his suspicious feeling in his gut slide. But in the back in his mind it kept saying "DON'T TAKE IT SHINO, NO DON'T" you know what he did … he took the mission

"Shino take care of a girl names Erysu (ME!)" Tsunade informed him of the mission of no conditions; he just nodded in agreement unsuspected on what yet to come.

"Erysu-chan please come out" the Hokage called to the costumer.

"Hiyas!" a brunette said as she bounced in hyperly" who's my new tortu- err I mean my take carerer" she said correcting the first statement of the sentence.

'Is carerer a word?' Shino thought about the odd sentence of the overly hyperactive brunette whom he is suppose to take care of.

"SHINOOOOOO" Erysu tried to snap the insect user out of his thoughts

"SHIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! Answer me! HUUULLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO!" she was shaking him by his neck.

"Can't breathe" he barely whispered out gasping for air.

"OH srry's" she apologized for ringing his neck

"Just to tell you Shino, you shift end at 1 o'clock, oh hear a grand idea why don't you show her around Konoha to past the time" Tsunade said in her office which they were still in for some odd reason

"That a GREAT idea Tsunade-sama!" She said overly hyper. Shino stalked out the door as Erysu followed him as silent as a cat (I LUV SIMILIES). She skipped behind him silently for halve the time and when Shino least expected it…

"RAID!" she yelled out as loud as she could which is pretty loud.

Shino is a stoic guy sooo you wouldn't get much emotion out of him but turned around with a "WTF" look plastered upon his face though no who could but she read that look.

"Raid..?" in each hand holding up an extra strong can of Raid and then a flyswatter.

"IMMMM HUNNNNNNGGGGRRRRRRYYYYYYY" Erysu whined with still the can of Raid and the flyswatter.

"Let's get ramen"

"WEEEEEEEE RAMEN!" she overly exclaimed, Shino doubt he' have sanity at the end of this mission.

"Were here…"

"K♥" she put the two objects that were yet still in her hands and now in her Trans-dimensional pockets.

"Question?" she asked

"Hmm" he grunted to show that he's listening

"For every Aburame are there 30 000 destruction bugs?"

"Hai…" Shino said trailing off

"Really because for every human there is 30 000 insects" she stated matter-of-factly.

They ordered there ramen and waited since Erysu's not really patient she decided to bother Shino. She took her index finger and slowly crept it towards the insect-user's face and when it was a short distance away.

"POKE!" She said as she poked him, than she did a demented laugh.

"­­­­­­­­­ -.-"was his only reply.

Then she tried a different approach she took a clickety pen and clicked it really fast. After a minute of tolerance he finally snapped and grabbed her wrist but her being the authoresses she already predicted that so she yelled

"RAPE!" some passer-by looked in to see what was the commotion, Shino immediately let go of her wrist. And she continued as if nothing ever happened.

"here's your launch "

"ARRIGATOOO!" and she ate very quickly

"SHINO! " she called for his attention. Once again he gave a grunt

"Do you like pie?"

"no" she retorted hoping to shut her up OHHH boy was he wrong

"LE GASP" she gasp pointing a accusing finger at the offending bug user. "u r the evil one the hyper god told me about!"

"WHAT?" He said patience wearing thin

" EVIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL" she trailed on

" …?"

"Mister sacred ramen maker person?" she asked

"Yes" he answered

"What time is it?" he looked at his watch and said:

"About 1 o'clock"

Shino gave a sigh of relief and Erysu walked away to await for her next torture subject. MUAHAHAAHAH

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Shino: I hate you

KAHS: DON'T BE GLUM CHUM!

Shino: I'm not glum I'm annoyed

KAHS: DON'T BE MAD BE GLAD

Shino: … u torture me, u made me pay the bill, and u made people think I'm some kind of pervert.

KAHS: So you're not mad

Shino: I'M GONNA KILL U (chases KAHS)

KAHS: Gotta go! (RUN'S AWAY) BYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: don't own…  
Alrighty it back - cause im bored….

" Sakura-chan, I've called you for a mission, it's a D-rank" Tsunade spoke business like.  
"yes Hokage-Sama" Sakura nodded.

"come in Erysu-Chan" as that was said the same hypur brunette from the last chapter skipped and bounced like she was skipping thru the non-existent flowers…of Truth !!!

"Omigawd!!!" Sakura squeeled in fear at the hypur sight of awesome coolness of pie.

"okay…now you need to walk with her for hours and keep her busy" Tsunade spoke while doing the dreaded paperwork that comes of being Hokage. Sakura twitched a bit and nodded in fear.

"PINKYPINKYPINKYPINKY" Erysu chanted hypurly. Sakura getting annoyed, when they walked thru the bridge were her team normally waited. When she spotted Sasuke, she became a melted puddle of fangirl goo poo.

"Ewwww…fangirl goo poo" Erysu poked it with a stick, it growld and ate the METAL stick….of coolness. Sasuke looked at the pile of Sakura in disgust.

"TT" Erysu cried over the metal stick of coolness.

"You HURT MESTOFCOO!!!" Erysu Pointed angrily at the pink goop. Naruto jumped away in time to avoid the flames surrounding the brunette. Sasuke looked at the mad/hypur/phycotic teen oddly. Sakura becam solid after the authoress named KAHS said so who is actually Erysu.

"Hiya Pinky!" Erysu waved at the now solid girl. She took out a candle wick and tide it to her hair. Sakura moved back a bit.

"why did you do that..?" she asked stupidly

"cause I can -" She chirped. And all of a sudden she was behind Sasuke flicking one of the hair that stick up magicly. Sasuke was stunned for a moment and pulled away.

"hehe All Hail King Cowlick LOL" Erysu swung a 'All Hail King Cowlick' flag that had a pic of Chibi sasuke on it. Naruto looked at her in schock.

"Oh naru-chan!! Glompeth!!" Erysu glomed the smaller blond.

"GAH" Naruto jumped as he was glomped.

"let's go get Ramen!!" She declared grabbing his wrist and pulling him, she stopped and grabbed Sasuke's wrist too.

"ohh sasu-kun guesse what!?" She grinned at Sasuke, who gave a grunt in reasponce.

"What?" Naruto answerd for Sasuke.

"Pinky has a srine to King Cowlick" She looked back at the two males she was dragging. Sasuke's eye twitched violently and naruto pouted.

"Hey old man!" Naruto greeted with his free hand. Sasuke remained silent not liking this at all.

"Hey Sacred Ramen Maker person!" She chirped as she sat down letting go of the boys wrists.

Sakura stood there, then thought and then ran to find Erysu. If she didn't keep her busy she would fail the mission. She found her in Ichiraiku Ramen shop. (no duh!!) she was chatting away with Naruto. Sasuke looking moody.

"Erysu!!" Sakura Yelled in concern. Erysu turned around in fear.

"it the great pink of doom" She pointed at her, eyes wide like tomato's. Sasuke looked at the screen and gave a small smile…he like tomatos. After the hypur teen jumped and grabbed the great pink's ninja head band and started to chew on it. She looked at the offender like she was insane. Well she was, Thank you Sakura for stating the obvious.

"Oh Sakuwa mour misswon wis done" Erysu Smiled crazily while eating her head band. Sakura tried to pry the teen's teeth out of her headband. She sucseessed in her mini-mission called Try-to-pry-the-hypur-/-phycotic-/-teen's-teeth-of-my-ninja-headband, or TTPTH/P/TTOMNH for short.

When Sakura came to the mission room she didn't receive her pay, naruto and Sasuke got is.

"what!? Why!?" Sakura cried.

"because Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke keeped her busy " Tsunade smiled.

Sakura: I hate you that money was supposed to get me a new outfit.

KAHS: but that money help naruto pay his rent, it was so a better cause. Hi King Cowlick! waves Hey Fish cake

Sasuke: Hn.

Naruto: Hey or should I say bye -


End file.
